The world we live in is full of actions and reactions. A philosopher once said that "life is ten percent action and ninety percent reaction". In our relationship as individuals, a time comes when some little misunderstandings engenders actions taking against ourselves. These actions often comes in diverse forms depending on the individual involved. The main objective of this post is for you to discover the three different reactions by three categories of people to the same action against them. This will enable you to discover the category you belong and also categorize everybody you relate with, so that you can have a better relationship. A famous scientist, Sir Isaac Newton, in 1884 published a work called "principia" from which he clearly statef the three laws of motion. From his third law, i quote "To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". This invariably means that actions and reactions are equal and opposite. For instance, if you fire a bullet from a gun, that's an action, the equal and opposite reation is that you notice yourself jerk backwards as a result of the momentum with which the bullet leaves the gun. Hence, this principle also applies in our everyday interactions and relationships amongst ourselves. When you take an action against someone, either pleasant or unpleasant you should always anticipate an equal and opposite reaction. However, these reactions often comes in divers forms depending on who's at the receiving end. Now, lets get down to the nitty-gritty of the this post. Have you ever been hurt, humiliated or treated with disdain by someone you love and respect or even a total stranger? How did you react to their action? Did you ignore the person and walk away? Were you blunt in retaliation? Or you picked your pen and diary to register the day that action was taken against you? Frankly speaking, every one of us at one point or the other is confronted with these actions in life, probably from a loved one, relative, people we love and respect or even total strangers. Certainly, unpleasant actions must always come but what matters is how we react to them. The first category are those that when you humiliate or treat them with disdain, they immediately give it back to you without minding whose ox is gored, or consider the level of respect and regards they've got for you before. These categories pays you back in your own coin instantly, especially if you're a total stranger or not as important to them as would warrant them overlook your actions. I call them the "BLUNT" category. If you hurt them or verbally attack their personality, then be sure you would be in for a showdown, because they're always ready for an immediate payback and they are not afraid of any threat. Their interest is letting you know they're not cowards and you cannot trample on them and go free. These categories are not the most gentle or patient of all humans. They are very belligerent, and this attitude makes them being avoided by people around them, hence they unknowingly build a defense around themselves and their loved ones. They show no regrets for their actions. They feel cheated and see themselves as cowards if they ignore your actions without retaliating. Hence, they believe in a "tooth for a tooth and a tat for a tat". A lot of people have an aversion for these category, which makes them unwilling to get involved in their affairs. However, despite the fact that they're very aggressive and cantekerous but they're not as attrocious or deadly as people take them to be. They do not bear grudes against anyone, as long as they're able to vent their displeasure. Now, lets discuss the second category. When these categories of people are hurt, humiliated or treated with disdain they simply ignore you and walk away, sometimes without making any comment. If your're a close person they love and respect, they 'll begin to avoid you and subsequently keep their distance from you. But if you're a total stranger, they'll either take an exception to your action and make you feel worthless or utter a very sarcastic word that will belittle you and make you feel bad about yourself, which is the limit they can go with you for that day. Howerver, these categories are generally peaceful and patient. I call them the "PATIENT" group. They only react when pushed to the wall, and their reaction is always very deadly. They do not bear grudges against their offenders. These categories are very gentle and peace loving, but a lot of people often mistake their gentleness for cowardice. But they can be very deadly when pushed to the wall or provoked beyond measure, especially when you continue to take their peaceful disposition for granted or as an occassion to incessantly humiliate them. These categories are very forgiving, hence they do not have permanent foes. The third are the "PRETENTIOUS" group. These people pretends not to be hurt by your actions, but they're waiting for the right time to retaliate all your actions.
Personal Development Blog.
A man's height in life depends on the extent to which he can develop himself. Life is transient, and the transiency of life makes it very imperative for you to be dynamic.
Petrochemical engineer, Entrepreneur, Politician and Philantropist.
Friday, 27 February 2015
Wednesday, 25 February 2015
A lot of people have always asked, if a man can be sexy or sexual. And some who knows asks, how can a man improve his sexuality? Sexuality is one thing most women use to attract men. Women are very good at being sexual than men. They are very good at using their sexuality as tool to conspicously bring men closer to them. They know that being sexual and using their sexuality, is a powerful tool in making men fall to their whims and caprices. But men typically have got no idea of what it means to be sexual as a man or how to be sexual. Men always attributes sexuality to women, and think it's only a woman that can be sexual, because that's how they understand sex. But that's absolutely wrong. Men too can be sexy or sexual, and being so will get many women to become attracted to you, just as easily as men are to women. Until you improve your sexuality as a man, you'll not appear so much likeable and attractive to women. But how can you improve your sexuality as a man? I know that's the question that must be going through your mind right now. Don't worry, i'll tell you. There's a difference between a man's sexuality and that of a woman. A woman sexuality is easily visible on the outside. The round shape, curves, figure 8, sexy eyes, lips, legs, catwalking and all the anatomical and physiological structure of a woman's body makes her appear physically sexy and sexual. But the anatomical and physiological structure of a man's body does not make for him to appear physically sexy. A man can be handsome and good looking with broader shoulders, side bears and mustache, but it doesn't make him sexual. This is because a man's sexuality is not external, but inside. If not, why do some women prefer, get attracted and go after less handsome and good looking men, despite the fact that they already have a more handsome guy? It is because those men understands what it means for a man to be sexual and they always displays their sexuality at the right time, particularly in the presence of such women. They know that is what a woman wants, and they wittingly or unwittingly use it to bring them closer. Hence, it is not the outward adonis nature of a man that makes him sexual, though it may make him appear very attractive and likeable, but it certainly cannot bring out a woman's real affections towards him. Therefore, what can then bring out a woman's real affection towards a man? It is a man's sexuality. And what is a man's sexuality? And how can a man be sexual? You may want to ask. A man's sexuality is tied to his masculine nature. And these masculine qualities and characteristics is what a woman is looking for, and not the physiological body structure of the man. Naturally, a man is expected to be strong, tough, fearless, courageous, aggressive, egoistic, brave, protective, intelligent, analytical and always in control of situations. A man is supposed to be on top of his game at all times. He's the head, and must always take deliberate responsibility to be seen as that. A man can improve his sexuality when he always acts manly in displaying the qualities listed above. He must act manly at all times. However, acting manly does not mean being a bully or canterkerous. Rather, he must always show the best characteristics of what it's to be a man. Using your sexuality as a man means being strong, brave, courageous, acting timely, focused, straight-forward, irrepressive for the right course, protective and allowing your masculine energy to radiate from inside of you. These characteristics makes you appear sexual as a man and attracts so much respect to you from the opposite gender. No woman wants to have a man that cannot protect her, always fearful, lacks courage, easily intimidated, lacks integrity, that cannot take decisions and responsibilities. If you really want to endear yourself to a woman's heart, you must posses these qualities, because it thrills any woman. Now, how can you improve or develop your sexuality as a man? First, you must build your character. Develop yourself. Learn some physical and mental skills that will build up your character and develop your courage. Learn to improve yourself, educationally, mentally, physically, psychologically and otherwise. Exercise regularly, undergo some trainings that will help boost your courage and self-esteem as a man. All these will assist you in building your masculine qualities and characteristics and improve your sexuality as a man. In the temperaments, men that have a combination or a trace of the choleric temperament in them, easily exhibits this masculine sexuality and are easily attractive to women. A sanguine, melancholy or phlehmatic that has little choleric nature in them will exhibit some amount of a man's sexuality. This is because the choleric temperament reflects a man's sexuality. If you take a survey of many marriages or relationships, you'll discover that men with some level of choleric temperament are sincerely and deeply loved by their partner than any other.
Tuesday, 24 February 2015
Human beings are composed of some intrinsic qualities and characteristics which makes up the totality of a person's whole being. These qualities often reflects outwards in their relationship with other. Some of them are natural, which means they inherited them from the genes of their parents that was passed unto them at birth, hence those traits were transferred to them. Any trait, either positive or negative a persons exhibits must have its root from somewhere and predominantly from our parents. The genes you inherited from your parents affects your personality and plays a major role in your relationship with people. Others picked up some of these traits from their environment in the course of interacting with people around them. Whichever trait a persons portrays, is due to the person's temperament. Talking about temperament, temperament is what makes a human being behave or act the way he does. From the book of 'Tim Lahaye' temperament is the sum total of a persons whole being. It is what determines how you eat, read, drive, clean your environment, act or react, relate with your wife and kids and everybody around you. Temperament controls every behaviour you put up in life. There are four classes of temperaments: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy and Phlegmatic are the four classes of temperaments and they are further classified into the "Introverts and Extroverts". Sanguine and Choleric are Extroverts while Melancholy and Phlegmatics are Introverts. However, this post is not intended to disuss in details about the temperaments, but to focus on a particular trait, which is also influenced by the temperament. Self-esteem is a very popular and important quality that's always talked about by so many people. Self-esteem has to do with the value a person attaches to him or herself. It is how one rates oneself, when relating with others. A lot of people often battle with the challenge of low self-esteem. They have a poor rating of themselves and attach little or no value to their person. Poor or low self-esteem comes from within, it's an internal thing and becomes visible on the outside. Therefore, if you're battling with low self-esteem, you must begin to look inwards and change some wrong perceptions you have about yourself. What are some of the causes of low self-esteem? Like i stated ealier, some of the traits we exhibits are natural. We acquired them from our parents. Going back to the temperaments, the introverts which are mainly Melancholies and Phlegmatics are more likely to suffer more from low self-esteem than the Sanguines and Cholerics, which are Extroverts. The Melancholies and Phlegmatics are extremely intelligent. The melancholies particularly are very intelligent and analytical group of people, infact they're the most intelligent people on earth. Like we know about the introverts, they like keeping to themselves, and have little time to spend with others. However, it's quiet unfortunate that these gifted and intelligent people still battles with the challenge of low self-esteem. Hence, if you have melancholy or phlegmatic parents, then be sure you must posses some traits of low self-esteem. And no matter how you try to get rid of it, some trace of it must be there because it is internal. There are various factors that are responsible for the low self-esteem of the introverts (Melancholies and Phlegmatics). Melancholies have a perfectionist attitude. They like everything to be hundred percent right and perfect, which is certainly unrealizable. They feel very incomplete and under-achieved when they do not get it hundred percent done, and feel others could have done better. The melancholies are never satisfied with whatever they've achieved. They put themselves under so much responsibility and intense pressure. The perfectionist and insatiable nature of the melancholies makes them have a poor rating of themselves and attach little value to their personality. This attitude consequently makes them develop low or poor self-esteem in their relationship with others. Melancholies can overcome their low self-esteem by realizing the fact that nobody is perfect, and nothing done by anyone can be 100 percent perfect without any fault. You've got to come out with a more positive mindset of yourself and avoid trying to please everyone. Introverts are generally confronted with the challenge of low self-esteem. This is usually due to their gregarious lifestyle of always keeping to themselves. Thereby, making them develop poor self-confidence and self-esteem whenever they meet new people. In other to overcome this challenge, the introverts should endeavour to relate with more people, and always have a positive mindset and perception about themselves. Always realize that you're no less a person, and believe you've got all it takes to be better than anyone in the world. "Change the negative perceptions you have about yourself and your self-esteem will be boosted."
Saturday, 7 February 2015
What is the real secret of living a happy and fulfilled lifestyle? This question is very important because, until you discover the real secret of having real peace and happiness in life, you cannot discover your true potential and accomplish all that God has destined you to accomplish in life. A lot of people are constantly on a quest for true happiness and are embarking on a long journey of finding their true potentials and the real purpose of their existence. But the big question is, what is the secret of living a happy and fulfilled life? Is it wealth, riches, comfort, pleasure, success, education, jewelleries, Cars, landed properties or any other good things you can get in life? Material and ephemeral things of life may make you temporarily happy and feel comfortable in life, but they'll certainly not guarantee you lasting peace and happiness that will make you feel fulfilled in life. I once had a friend who was on the better side of life, he had virtually every good thing needed to make life very interesting and enjoyable. He's very comfortable and had nothing to worry about in life, because all he needed to make life very comfortable for him was provided for, by his parents. John was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. But it is astonishing to know that people who are on the better side of life, who can afford the best things life can offer still battle with an inner feeling of rejections, uncertainty, insecurity and unhappiness. Oftentimes, you see John staying away from friends, feeling lonely, dejected, in a moody and unhappy state. When i tried to find out from him what the problem was, he tells me nothing and immediately tries to cover it up by becoming cheerful again. The next moment you see him going back to the same moody and unhappy state, hence i knew and was convinced that there was a problem but didn't really know the cause. From that time, i began to research and study human behaviours and relationship to try to decipher the cause of unhappiness in a man's life and discover the real secret of living a happy and fulfilled life. This is the main reason why i'm sharing this topic with you today, to help you permanently overcome unhappiness, lead a peaceful life and accomplish what you're destined to accomplish in life. It's expedient for you to know that unpleasant situations may make you feel very sad and depressed. That's absolutely natural for every human being, but it's suppose to wane with time. But if such unhappy and depressed mood continues unabated, then there's a problem. However, living a happy life or being in a joyful mood always does not mean you're not going to encounter challenges or unpleasant situations. It is an inner feeling of satisfaction, completeness and fulfilment that radiates on the outside and reflects in your actions and relationship with others. Wealth, riches, or any other material things does not gaurantee satisfaction, because of the insatiability of man, neither does it bring lasting peace and happiness, and consequently fulfilment in life. Just like the case of John, i believe a lot of people are in that category. They are never happy about anything in life, they always feel depressed, dejected and downcasted. However, some people are naturally happy people. They're not so much affected by challenges or any unpleasant situations of life. If you're one of those few persons, then you're most fortunate, and you ought to be thankful to God because you've got a very rare gift that most people wish they had. But if you feel incessantly unhappy about yourself, or you lack peace of mind and you feel very unfulfilled and incomplete inside you. There's no need to worry anymore, because i've got the remedy for you. I was once a victim of this, until i discovered this basic truth on the secret of living a happy and fulfilled life. If you'll stick to my advice and counsel, i can assure you of living a happy and fulfilled life in no distant time. You must understand that there are two main secrets of happiness in life, and which also leads to a feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment. The first secret of happiness in life is to realize that God is the source of happiness. Yes, this is very necessary. You must recognize God as the source of every good thing in life, including happiness. Having a good relationship with God, gives you an inner happiness that endures even when challenges arises. Hence, you need to realize that God is the originator of happiness. The second secret of happiness in life has to do with your relationship with people. Wealth and material things does not gaurantee happiness and fulfilment in life. Just like king solomon in the bible, who kept not back from himself anything his eyes saw and desires. But he called them vanity and vexation of spirit. Learn to forgive everyone, avoid bearing any grudge, and also help the less privileged with your resources. A good relationship with God and man is necessary for living a happy and fulfilled life.