Personal Development Blog.
A man's height in life depends on the extent to which he can develop himself. Life is transient, and the transiency of life makes it very imperative for you to be dynamic.
Petrochemical engineer, Entrepreneur, Politician and Philantropist.
Monday, 30 March 2015
Are you wondering what sleeping giant you've got inside you? Or you're probably finding it very difficult identifying the sleeping giant within you? Well, you don't have to worry about that, because it is very easy to identify or recognize the sleeping giant inside you, but the difficult thing is waking it up, unleashing, and letting it produce the desire result of climbing to the zenith of success. A lot of people are always conscious of the fact that they've got a sleeping giant lying perpetually dormant inside them, but how to awaken the giant and unleashing it for their quest for success remains a huge challenge, and this has obviously stalled their success and break-throughs in life. But for others, they even find it very difficult recognizing that sleeping giant in them, they try a whole lots of things but cannot really ascertain their real passion, talent or area of direction in life, and they find themselves getting bored when their endeavours are not yielding any result of encouragement to them and they eventually abandon whatever they've begun. This attitude also keeps their success static and they find them-selves always on the same level. How do you identify the sleeping giant in you? I don't know. You're the only one that can know better the potentials that lies inside you. But, it is not enough to recognize the sleeping giant in you, but to awaken, unleash and consistently nurture it by putting it work. But how do you recognize this sleepin giant? Again, i said i don't know. I don't know the sleeping giant in you, but i can only recommend 3 key ways you can use to discover that sleeping giant in you. If you can adopt these three remedies, i can assure you of discovering that giant within you in no distant time. The first important way of discovering that sleeping giant is to, "Discover Your Passion". What is passion? Or what are you passionate about? Your passion is something you just desire and love doing without anyone there to compel you to do it. It is something that makes you happy, feel fulfilled and complete even when no one seems to notice or appreciate you. Your passion is your hobby. Something you're very comfortable with, and you derive fulfilment and satisfaction from anytime you complete the task. It can be Blogging to share knowledge online, writing, teaching people, convincing someone to buy a product (salesmanship), music, arts, ICT and anything you have passion and affinity for, needs to be developed through patience and consistency for it to grow overtime and become visible to the world. This is one way you can discover & awaken that sleeping giant within you. The second is take up challenges, and also welcome challenges. Don't try to run away from challenges coming to you, no matter how great or small they may be always stand and confront them. Because therein, may lie that sleeping giant which will eventually awaken to inspire you to victory. Don't be idle, try your hands on a whole lot of things whether they're convienent for you or not. Because in not being idle, you'll certainly discover something that will be useful to you, and gives you satisfaction & comfortability. Idleness and procrastinations are dream killers and success delayals. And when you discover that giant or great potential in you, put it to work immediately. Don't allow it rest or remain dormant. Consistently develop it through work, work and more work. The last point i want to recommend on recognizing your sleeping giant is to, ask your friends, attend motivational and inspirational seminars by various renowned thought leaders and motivational speakers. This can actually help you to discover your potential faster and awaken that sleeping giant within. However, it is not enough listening to motivational speakers or thought leaders, but you must endeavour to take some practical steps to actualize your dreams. Because no one can motivate you more than the extent you motivate yourself. Also ask three to five of your close friends to write down ten things about you, about your strengths and weaknesses, your character, passion, your attitude to work, infact your temperament. Then evaluate yourself based on their observations, and compare some of their remarks about you. If three out of five of them say the same thing about you, then you can easily figure out the area your strengths lies, which can also awaken the sleeping giant within you. These are my 3 simple recommendations on how you can discover your sleeping giant.
Sunday, 29 March 2015
On March 28, 2015, Nigeria conducted her fifth presidential and National Assembly general elections. After the truncation of the first democratic government of Shehu Shagari in 1984 by Gen. Muhammadu Buhari through a military Coup 'de' tat. Nigeria began to notice what could be regarded as a stable democracy from 1999 when the second electioneering process took place, and since then, it has been conducting her elections and operating a democratic government. Nigeria conducted elections in 1999, 2003, 2007, 2011, and presently 2015. It's important to emphasize that the elections from 1999-2011 were not without hitches and anomalies. The 2015 presidential and National Assembly general elections were not different from previous elections, where there were still some pockets of violence in some states, late arrival of election materials due to logistics challenges and some electoral malpractices. Although, there was a little improvement on the 2015 general election especially with the introduction of a card reading machine to accredit and authentic registered and eligible voters, as a way of curbing electoral malpractices. However, it was quiet unfortunate that there were myriad of complains by voters in various states that majority of the permanent voter card reader machines could not read the voters data on the card, while some machines could not authenticate the fingerprints of the voters. Worst of it, was that the card reader could not read the permanent voter card(PVC) of the president, Mr. Goodluck Jonathan. This development forced the chairman of the Independent National Electoral Commission, Prof. Attahiru Jega to rescind his resolve on using the facility. And he later gave instructions to presiding officers in every polling unit across the federation, to embark on manual accreditation in states affected by this negative development. However, there were reports from many states that the whole process was peaceful, and voting was done under a very free and fair atmosphere. Although, there were still some places where violence, late arrival of materials, and electoral malpractices were reported, for instance, in Rivers state South-South Nigeria, where the ruling party in the state and main opposition party in the country, were complaining bitterly and calling for the cancellation of the result in the state. This has always been the bane of elections in Nigeria. Anyone who have been following elections in Nigeria, will know that these things are always expected, and yesterday's election would not be an exception. There are no perfect elections anywhere and it will take some time to get it right. But for a democracy that has lasted for sixteen years, and this being the fifth consecutive general elections to be conducted in Nigeria, one should expect some near perfect elections that at least, will be devoid of logistics problems and electoral mis-normals. Hence, this post is intended to share with you how Nigeria can get her elections to be near-perfect. First, in getting our elections right, elections should be made to be part of our lives. The electorates should be made to understand that election is part of their everyday life and they always look forward to it. There should be enough enlightenment of the electorates on the need to participate and get involved in the electoral processes. The National Orientation Agency(NOA) should orientate and re-orientate the electorates about the principles of electioneering process. The rural people and those who are not privileged to get a formal education should be educated about elections. And all these should be started early, at the inception of any government and not when election is closer. So that people can be fully aware of the importance of elections. The second point i want to propose is that, citizens right and civil education in various primary and secondary schools should be thought effectively, with more emphasis on elections. This will also help the younger ones, and those who will attain the age of eighteen when it is time to conduct another election for a new dispensation to know what they're required to do during the election. My last point, is to the government and the body empowered by law to conduct elections. It is often said that early preparation preceeds good success. It is obvious that majority of the logistics problems encountered during election period is because of lack of proper or adequate preparation on the part of INEC. I was surprised to observe yesterday that an important body as INEC charged with the responsibility of conducting elections don't have enough vehicles of their own to convey their election materials to various states. They have to hire vehicles from road transporters to convey there materials, this is really appalling. The issue of the card readers should have been in place immediately after the 2011 election, and should have been used in previous state elections to ascertain their efficiency.
Friday, 27 March 2015
Do you know there is a sleeping giant lying inside you that needs to be awaken to its full potential? And until it is awakened, you'll continue be like a toothless bulldog. But when it is awakened, it totally transforms you into that man you ought to be, and make you one of the great achievers of our time. You are not that giant yet, it is in you, sleeps with you, moves about with you and does everything with you. But it has not been awakened to its full potential. It's lying dormant in you, lazy, inactive, unambitious and lackadaisical, because you provide it with comfort and shelter. And it will continue to remain dormant, static and inactive until you decide and say enough is enough. That giant is in every human being, but it is quiet unfortunate that so many of this sleeping giants in a lot of persons have gone into extinction, because of inactivity. Do you know that the richest place on earth is the grave? Where a lot of giants are being buried and so many talents wasted, because they were never developed and unleashed for success. What makes you unique and powerful is not your physical appearance, your stature, status or background but that sleeping giant in you that needs to be awakened to perform wonders and add value to life. You are not an ordinary person, you have what it takes to accomplish extra-ordinary things in life, if only you can realize you've got a sleeping giant in you that needs to be awakened. Awaken it to achieve great things.
Wednesday, 25 March 2015
For a lot of persons, choosing a lifetime career can be one of the most challenging decision to take in life. As any mistake made in this stage of life can hamper your success in future. Your career makes you, and it is the totality of who you are as an individual. Hence, it must be carefully and conscientiously chosen in other to avoid been misrable in life. The question is, how do you choose a lifetime career that fits your personality? In choosing the best career that makes you feel fulfilled in life, you must take some important facts into consideration. First, take your temperament into consideration. This is very essential, because your temperament is the totality of who you are as a person. Temperament controls everything we do in life. How we act, our attitude towards work, how we drive, shop, clean our environment, relate with people, train our kids at home, our ambitions and virtually everything we do in life is informed by our temperament. You must know the temperament you belong before you can make the right choice in choosing your career. A good career that fits your personality must conform with your temperament. If your career is not in conformity with your temperament, it will be difficult for you to get to the zenith of your career. There are 4 different classes of temperament which every human being belongs. The 4 classes of temperaments includes: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy and Phlegmatic. These 4 classes of temperaments are further categorized into the "introverts" and "extroverts". Sanguine and cholerics are extroverts while melancholies and phlegmatics are introverts. They all have specific qualities and characteristics that informs their behaviours (Actions, inactions, and reactions). You certainly need to read more about the temperaments, so that you can have a clear understanding of them and also appreciate why you need to choose a career or vocational aptitude that is in agreement with your temperament. The next worst thing that can happen to a person after unemployment, is to have the wrong job or career. It is very incredible how a whole lot of people despise their job. Little wonder it becomes so boring to them after some years of being into it. And as technology advances, more people will discover that they are actually in the wrong career or vocation which they find themselves. Hence one way to avoid vocational frustration, or feeling like you're a roung peg in a square hole, is to know your temperament and its natural vocational possibilities. Then, find a job, career or profession that compliments it, and allows you to easily express your natural temperament characteristics. Lets take a quick look at the 4 classes of temperament and the best careers or vocations suitable for each of them. Lets start with the 'Sanguines'. Are you a sanguine? The world is obviously enriched by the sanguines with their cheeriness and charisma. The sanguines are predominantly extroverts hence, any career or vocation that tends to bring them out and closer to the people will be the best for them. They make excellent salesmen and they are more attracted to this profession than any other temperament. This is because the sanguines are so convincing that they can sell anything to you, even when you don't need it. In addition to being excellent salesmen, sanguines also makes excellent actors, comedians, entertainers and preachers. They are outstanding masters of ceremonies, auctioneers and sometimes leaders, if blended with other temperaments like the choleric and melancholy. Any routine work or career that tends to tie down a sanguine, that requires so much detail, and does not give him the liberty to meet with people bores him. No matter what job or career the sanguines finds himself, it should always give him extensive exposure to people. Sanguines major contribution to life is in making people happy. Now, lets look at the 'Cholerics'. Cholerics are also extroverted like the sanguines. But they're very disciplined and serious people. The cholerics are workaholics, action-packed and purposeful. They are doers, hence, any career or profession that requires leadership, motivation and productivity, & does not involve so much details and analysis attracts a cholerics. They also do well in sales, teaching practical subjects, politics, military service sports and other crafts or vocations. Any job that has to do with too much talking, long meetings, detailed analysis and analytical planning bores a him a great deal. 'Melancholy'. Are you a melancholy? Count yourself lucky because you're the most gifted of all the temperaments, with high IQ. Any career or vocation that requires, self-sacrifice, perfection, creativity, detail analysis, analytical thinking&humanitarian services is best for you. 'Phlegmatics' are the most introverted. Any career that requires meticulous patience and daily routines, planning and calculation, analytical and imaginative mind and not so much of a limelight is best for you.
Monday, 23 March 2015
A lot of people go through life without actually discovering the purpose of their existence. They are like a bird of passage that passes over your head without making a mark. You need to understand that the purpose of your existence is to add value to life by impacting positively on the lives of others. Hence, if you're not adding value to life then you're obviously not fulfilling your responsibility and living up to your full potential. However, you cannot add value to life except you discover your passion and use it to make positive impacts in the lives of others. This is so because you cannot give what you don't have. Therefore, the first step to adding value to the world is to discover your passion in life. Without passion, nothing worth the while can be achieved. It is passion that motivates you to go the extra mile to achieve the extra-ordinary. Now, having made this point clear, the question that should come to your mind right now is: What is my passion? How can i discover it? Every human has a passion for something, but most times, not the passion to add value to life. If you desire to buy a particular car, that's a passion. If you want to build a particular house, it's a passion. If you're attracted to a particular lady and you've been doing everything possible to get her, it's a passion. Anything you crave for that you've not gotten yet is a passion. But this quests do not add value to people's lives and to the world. To add value to the world, and leave lasting legacies in the lives of people, your passion must be people-oriented, aims to improve lives and make the world a better place. For some people, it might be really difficult discovering your passion or what you really want in life, because we're always presented with different choices. Sometimes, you might want to take a particular direction or go into a particular niche or area of life but you soon discover that it isn't the best way to go and you quickly abandon it and decide to look at other areas. Most times, it isn't because you fail to discover your passion, but because you lack focus and consistency in whatever you're doing. It is important for you to know that without focus and consistency in whatever area of life you choose, you cannot achieve your dreams, make any impact and add value to the world. However, for those who find it very awkward discovering their passion, there's only one way you can discover your passion in life and use it to add value to the world. First, you must ask yourself some salient questions. "What are my really passionate about in life"? How can i use my passion to add value to the world? Asking these important question will make you to start looking inwards to discover your potential. For you to be able to discover your passion, there must be a motivating factor, something that drives you to take action. You passion must come from within you, there must be an inner propeller, propelling you to take action, and that is the desire to add value to life. Therefore, what drives, motivates or propels you? A desire to add value to life is the main factor that will help you to discover your passion in life. Discovering your passion in life requires you to take action and get yourself engaged in something meaningful. Laziness, procrastination, idleness and lackadaisical attitudes are the greatest enemies to discovering your passion in life. You must get yourself in doing something meaningful, be liberal, welcome every opportunity. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. Ask yourself, what can i do very well. Your passion is something you love doing and you do it graciously without being pushed or compelled. You do it because you're always happy doing it, even when you're not being paid for it, or getting any instant gratification. Your passion can be anything, as long as it adds value to your life and the life of others. Your passion can also be your hobby, or something you're gifted in doing, and you do it so well and better than others. "If you make your hobby your job, you'll live never to work for someone again" Your passion must make you feel happy, complete and fulfilled in life. Whatever you're doing, or any career you choose in life, and you don't derive joy in it, you get bored doing it or you feel discouraged because you do not get any immediate financial reward or compliment, then it's obviously not your passion and you should not continue in it. Hence, you need to still look inwards to discover where your passion lies. The question now is, what are you passionate about? What is your driving force or motivating factor? And how can you unleash your potentials and use it to add value to life? Until you begin to ask yourself these important and heart-searching questions, you may never wake up to the reality of discovering your passion in life, and use it to add value to the world.
Thursday, 19 March 2015
There are some challenges that confronts us in life, they are such that we can do nothing about them. They come to us, abide with us for a very long time, and we can do nothing but to endure and live with them. We make all efforts to surmount them, but they often prove insurmountable and keeps coming back. For such challenges, the only solution is to outlast them. When there's no way out of your challenges, the best and wisest thing to do, is to remain afloat. If you cannot win over your challenges, "Outlast them". Whatever challenge you are going through in life will eventually come to an end if you remain undaunted. A storm in the sea will eventually calm down. But only those who remain afloat during the storm will be able to move on when equanimity comes. It is natural that when something does not turn out the way we planned and envisaged, quitting might be the easiest thing to do, but it is never the smartest. It might be the most compelling action to take, but never the most rewarding. Therefore, outlasting your challenges simply means, remaining unwavering, focused undaunted, undeterred and afloat in the midst of that storm, predicament and unfavourable situations, and allowing it to be overtaken by time and events.
The world is blessed and endowed with two major categories of persons, the 'introverts' and the 'extroverts'. It has immensely benefited from the natural qualities and attributes of this distinct personalities. Hence, the quest for a better human society and positive changes in the world cannot be achieved without the contributions of these two classes of persons. Now, the question is, who is an introvert? And who is an extrovert? The description of these two classes of persons may look very simple, but their meaning is definitely very broad. Like their names suggests and implies, introverts are the classes of persons who are much more concerned about everything internal to them. They are more concerned about themselves, and likes spending more time with themself and have little interest in what happens outside. While the extroverts on the other hand are those who are more interested in what happens outside, likes being with people outside, spends more time with others, and have very little time for themself. In a nutshell, the introverts are always turned inwards, while the extroverts are always turned outwards. This description appears to be very simple and shallow. However, to properly understand these two classes of persons and have an in-depth knowledge of both, so that we can compare both of them in terms of who can make a good leader, we need to examine their different traits, qualities and attributes and compare them with the qualities of a good leader. Don't forget that leadership problem is the major problem the world is facing today, and most countries of the world, especially the third world countries are often enmeshed in this leadership crisis. It is therefore, not surprising that these same leaders emerges from the same society and must either be an introvert or an extrovert. Notwithstanding that some might have a bit of the characteristics of both. Nevertheless, this topic is intended to critically examine and analyse the qualities of these two categories of persons and who can make a better leader between them. However, it is not intended to advocate for either of them on who should be a leader or not, but to point out their weaknessess and strengths and how they can improve or maximize them for better leadership roles. At the end of the day, it might turn-out that both of them will have to work together to achieve effective leadership. First, lets consider the strengths and weaknessess of the extroverts. Like i stated, the extroverts are turned outwards and they like being in the company of people. You can hardly see them alone for a long time. For these categories of persons, you'll naturally conclude that they'll make a good leader, since leadership is about leading people who are your followers. But is that really true? Can they make a better leader? Is always being seen with people or being in the company of the crowd a sign that one can make a good leader? Or is it good enough to predict a good leader? I'll leave you answer these questions. Major weaknessess of the extroverts are: Indiscipline, Unmeticulous, Impetuous, Sarcastic, Imapatience, Inconsiderate, they hate routines, not so much interested in details and being analytical, and they are hard to please. These are some of their basic weaknessess. Some of their strengths includes: Being courageous, Can do attitudes, friendly, humorous, good motivators and mobilizers, passionate, decisive, vocal. These are some of the strengths of the extroverts, which are also very necessary for effective leadership. But their weaknessess often makes them stutter in their leadership roles and makes them unable to achieve their goals. Now, lets consider some of the strengths and weaknessess of the introverts. Some of the weaknesses of the introverts includes: Indecision, Poor self-esteem, Underdeveloped emotions, moody, insatiable, thinking too much of themselves, inertia, perfectionists, always trying to please everyone in other to be acceptable. These are some of the weaknessess of the introverts, which always tends to make them faulter in their leadership roles. However, the introverts have some strengths and sterling qualities which makes them succeeds in leadership if well managed and blended with those of the extroverts. Some of the strengths of the introverts includes: Intelligence, detailed, analytical, Interpersonal skills, Considerate, Self-sacrificial, Resolute, very meticulous and good organizational skills. These are some of the strengths an introvert leader posseses. Any good leader must possess these qualities. However, an introvert with all these qualities cannot be effective in leadership if he lacks some of the decisive, courageous, motivational and mobilization qualities of the extroverts. Likewise, an extrovert cannot be efficient in leadership without the sterling qualities of the introverts. Hence, both of them must blend to achieve the leadership goal. A bit of each of these qualities will make you an excellent leader.
Sunday, 15 March 2015
You don't get a second chance to make a good first impression. First impression is always very important to us as human beings. We make first impression when we meet new people who might later become part of our lives, when you approach a woman as a man and try to woo her for the very first time, you make a first impression, or you're asked to present a speech at any event or even in a job interview, we all will definitely one day get that first chance to make a first impression. As you go through life, a time must come when you'll get that first chance or opportunity to make a first impression, and you must not ruin it. First impressions are very important to anyone because it opens the door to better privileges and good things. Hence, you must take it very seriously, in other not to ruin your chances or elude yourself of the benefits of making a good first impression. However, a lot of people often ruin their first chance to make a good first impression because they do not take it very seriously, hence they close their doors of better opportunities. First impressions are very important because they can either make or mar your chances of achieving your desires, and also open or close your doors of opportunities and breakthroughs. It is important because so many people take it very seriously, conclude or judge you based on the initial impression you created about yourself, and they would not even give you a second chance. Of course, you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. For instance, if you went for a job interview, and you could not sell yourself to the interviewers by making a good and lasting impression about yourself, you may never get recalled to be offered the job. Or you probably approached and tried to woo a lady for the first time, and you could not impress her to some extent, she may never want to go out on a date with you or even listen to you the next time. This is why you must be very careful with first impressions, and take it very seriously. Now, how do you make a good first impression? This is why i've chosen to discuss this topic, so that you can know how to make a good first impression when given the first chance to do so. The first and most important thing you ought to know when trying to create a good first impression is to avoid being "Jittery" and "Anxious". You need to relax yourself, calm your nerves and don't be unduly perturbed. Being jittery, anxious or unduly perturbed even before the event makes you look very uncomfortable and lacking in confidence. When you're jittered or anxious, you're bound to makes some silly and unnecessary mistakes which you'll certainly regret later, and possibly want a second chance to make amends, which you may never get. Hence, in other to avoid seeking for a second chance to make a good first impression, you must avoid being anxious, jittery and unnecessarily perturbed. You've got to relax your mind, calm your nerves and take it very simple. After working on your mind, to make it relax. The next thing you must understand if you want to create a good first impression is to take cognizance of your environment and everything around there. Look for something you can use to compliment the person or to initiate a conversation. For instance, if you're trying to woo a lady, rather than compliment her on her beauty which is very common, you can decide to compliment her for her hair, her attire or her shoes which she does not get always and you'll become exceptional in making a good first impression. In a nutshell, making a good first impression especially on a lady, requires you to be different from other men. Start the conversation and look for something different, uncommon and special to compliment her about. starting the conversation boosts your self-confidence. For a job interview, you need to sell yourself to the employers by making a good first impression about yourself in other to land you the job. The key is confidence and the ability to express yourself in a very lucid manner. Don't have an already predetermined opinion or expect that a particular question must come, hence you focus all your mind on that area. You need to be neutral, free your mind, but be vast in knowledge and prepare to answer any question that may be thrown at you. The key here is self-confidence and knowing how to approach any question that will be thrown at you. Don't try to pass a message of uneasiness or timidity, but show moderate confidence in your composure and how you approach every question. Making a good first impression anywhere is quiet very easy. You do not need any hard and fast rules to be able to do that. You've only got to be confident of yourself, avoid being jittery, uneasy or perturbed. Just relax your mind, be observant and pick out your points and opinions as the conversation progresses. Avoid any prejudice, or having a predetermined opinion to avoid being dissapointed and taken unawares. But always know the right things to say.
Tuesday, 10 March 2015
Of all the habits that tends to make a man sexually weak and inactive, masturbation is the most prominent of them. Masturbation is a very bad habit especially when addicted to it. Frequent and prolonged masturbation lowers a man's sexual libido. It's capable of making a man to become sexually incapacited, particularly as he gets older. Every man is at birth, created to be sexually active, and any healthy man is expected to get sexually aroused and respond to some sexual stimuli when it is time to do so. But it is very unfortunate that some men find it very difficult to get sexual arousal, respond to their partners sexual advances or even live up to their sexual responsibilities at home. This case is most times, consequent upon some bad habits you inadvertently get yourself indulge in, and you ignorantly practice them without knowing that you're doing more harm to yourself. The wet dream which is a sign of puberty, that every man experienced at an earlier stage, that is the adolescent age is very natural, and it is an indication that you're sexually active as a man. Hence, that sexual activity is supposed to continue, even till you get older in life to keep you sexually active and stong. But some of these bad habits you picked up as you go through life, tends to distort this natural sexual occurence and make you sexually weak and inactive. This is why in this post, we are going to delve into this bad habit of masturbation, and show you how you can overcome them. There are some bad habits that are very difficult to break and come off it. Masturbation is certainly one of such habits, especially when so much addicted to. There are two kinds of bad habits, the one that's due to external influence, and the other due to internal influence. Habits, such as smoking, drinking, clubbing etc are all caused by some external influence and they're all more easier to break, unlike the ones due to some internal influence, like masturbation, which comes from within. Habits such as masturbation are very hard to break because they are prompted by some inordinate sexual urge, which if uncontrolled can result in frequent masturbation. Hence, the more you get yourself indulge in this bad habit, the more you do more harm to your sexual life, by weakning your sex-drive towards your partner. In my previous post, i discussed in details how masturbation can affect your sexual libido and weaken you sex organs. But this post is aimed at showing you how you can overcome this bad habits within twenty-one days and improve your sex life. One thing you must know about bad habits is that, it takes twenty-one days to form bad habits, therefore it will also take twenty-one days to break it. It takes discipline to overcome any bad habit, but it takes much more discipline and some action steps to overcome masturbation. Since masturbation is influenced by some internal factors, which also results from some inordinate sexual thoughts and imaginations. The act of masturbation does not happen abruptly, it is preceeded by some unholy sexual thoughts and imaginations. Hence, in other to overcome masturbation, you must first and foremost deal with these unholy sexual thoughts and imaginations that propels you into masturbating. Deal with these wrong sexual imaginations, endeavour to always put them under control and never allow them to overcome you. Apparently, this act of masturbation is always carried out when you're alone in a lonely place. Loneliness and idleness creates an environment that's required to perpetrate the act of masturbation. This is usually because, the human mind is never a neutral ground. It cannot be idle for a minute. It's always a battle ground for both positive and negative thoughts and imaginations. Since the human mind is built in such a way that it is more susceptible to some bad thoughts and imaginations, hence you're most times trapped in this bad habit, if you don't discipline yourself and put your ignoble sexual imaginations under control. Therefore, if you really want to break this bad habit, you must endeavour to always avoid being idle or alone in a lonely place, particularly in your room, in other not to create an atmosphere that causes these wrong imaginations to thrive, and probably overwhelm you in the long run, which also leads you into masturbating. You must be very vigilant and watch out for any inordinate sexual imaginations. Identify your weaknesses, if these wrong sexual thoughts and urge will make you masturbate when you're alone, then you must be disciplined enough to leave that lonely environment, go outside, meet people or engage in some meaningful activities. By the time you comeback, that thought would have evaporated and the urge waned. Moreover, it takes 21 days, 3weeks to form a bad habit, it also takes 3 weeks to break it. After the first one or two weeks the urge and pressure will become intense, but if you can discipline yourself hard enough for 3 weeks, you'll certainly overcome it.
Saturday, 7 March 2015
A young boy of 10 once said to himself, "when i grow up, i will change my world". This he said to his parents and friends. At exactly 20, he began working towards achieving his dream. His modus operandi was to go from one continent to the other to preach about change and admonish them on the need to change their attitudes. He decided to list the continents alphabetically, hence he started with Africa. He needed to go round all the countries in Africa to conscientize the citizens on the need for attitudinal change. Hence, he took off his journey immediately.But he soon realized that it will be a white elephant project with huge financial commitments to embark on a journey of going from one continent to another to tell the people why they have to change their attitude. Therefore, he dropped that initial plan of working of going from one continent to another, and later limited himself to focus only on his continent. He said to himself, "Since i can't go round the entire continents of the world, i think i should limit myself to my continent and start from there". He began the journey of going round the entire countries in his continent. He visited the first country, but he was faced with the challenge of meeting different people with different cultural and ethnic backgrounds. Different languages and religious beliefs, and he found it difficult to communicate and interact with them in a language they can understand. He became dissapointed and unhappy because his dream of changing the world is always being confrontend with difficult challenges to surmount. Being very sad about it, he again said to himself, "Since i cannot go round the entire continents of the world, and am also being faced with the challenge of understanding and communicating in the language of every tribe in my continent, i think it will be more profitable to focus on my own country and probably start from there. At least, this is my country and i believe it will be easier to change my fellow citizens than the citizens of other nationalities". Therefore, he began going to every state in his country, going to the streets, printing hand bills and posters, going to media houses: radio stations, TV stations and the print medias to talk about change, and also encourage the people to change their attitudes towards each other. To his chagrin, he discovered that the wrong attitudes of his fellow citizens were not changing. Infact, it looks as if the more he tries to talk to them about change and appeal to them to have a change of attitude, the more they despise him and continued in their bad behaviours, and were even getting worse. He became very dissappointed and frustrated by the discouraging attitudes of his fellow citizens. Not relenting on his ambition, he resolved to narrow his dream of changing the world down to his community, where he has substantial influence on his kinsmen and kinswomen. And he felt they would be willing and ready to accept his doctrine of attitudinal change. Consequently, he decided to go back to his immediate community to spend some quality time with them, and preach to them his sermon of change and why they should embrace his change philosophy, eventhough for a very long time, he had not been going to see them. He started going from one compound to another and one family to the other, and also on the streets, track and farm roads and using town criers to tell anyone he sees about change and character reformation. But he soon discovered that it was even more difficult to cause anyone to have a change of attitude at the community level. Because they see him as a greedy, selfish and self-centered man who does not care about anyone but himself alone. They further despised him and called him all sorts of names. They would not even listen to any sermon on attitudinal change coming from him, because of his antecedents. He became further discouraged, disappointed and very frustrated. At this time, he was almost giving up on his dream. But he summoned courage and decided to go back to his family. He said to himself, "Since i can't change anyone, i think its better i go back to my family where i have all the authority, and start from there". He went back immediately, he called his wife and 3 kids together, and said "from today, i want everyone to change from his or her wrong attitude to the right attitudes. Every morning, he'll call them out to preach about this change. But to his dismay, as the children were growing up, they were all going their own ways and imbibing the wrong attitudes. He became extremely disappointed and frustrated. Now he's 40. And when he came down to his senses, he said to himself "Since i could neither change my world, nor my continent, nor my country, not even my community and my family, i think i will change MYSELF". It took him to get to 40 before he realizes that, to change the world, the change must begin with him. Whatever you can't change before 40, you can't change it after 40. IT BEGINS WITH YOU!
Thursday, 5 March 2015
Lack of interpersonal relationship skills has been the major factor responsible for the poor relationship among ourselves, especially our workplaces where we ought to work as a team in other to achieve a common goal. It has consequently led to misunderstandings and breakdown of human interactions and relationships. It is expedient to note that without interpersonal relationship skills, it will be difficult for humans to live, work and relate with each other. Hence, interpersonal relationship skills is a very essential and valuable skill that's necessary for humans to continue to live together in peace and harmony here on earth. Without this skills or qualities, our relationship will be characterized with frictions and hiccups, which may consequently lead to fracas and further degenerate into total breakdown of our relationships. Undoubtedly, a lot of people do not possess this all-important skills, which has been the major factor that's responsible for their inability to maintain and nurture a good relationship with others. Whether it is in their church, workplace, school, neighbourhood mosque or any other group or organization they're in, they always have reasons for getting into conflict with others, especially conflicts of interests. This attitude is very appalling and you must endeavour to change it, and build good human interpersonal relationship skills, so that you can continue to have a very peaceful and cordial relationship wherever you find yourself. There are so many causes of conflicts and lack of good relationship among ourselves. Like i stated earlier, lack of interpersonal relationship skills is a major cause of conflict among humans. However, there are so many attributes or traits that culminates into lack of interpersonal relationship skills. Hence, we will look at these attributes one after the other, and established the best form of approach to having a good and peaceful relationship with everyone. Lets get it started right away. First and foremost, you must understand that the golden rule that has to guide any peaceful and cordial relationship is, "TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED". But a lot of people do not know or understand this rule, hence they miss the point and always gets into conflicts with their friends, colleagues, surbodinates or relatives. It is imperative you understand this golden rule and always practice it if you want to have a good and peaceful relationship with people. You must learn to see others the way you see yourself. Endeavour to relate and treat everyone the way you want them to do to you. If you wouldn't want to be deliberately ridiculed, humiliated or disdained by anyone, then you must also refrain from doing so to others. That is the golden rule and it is the only panacea to a peaceful relationship and co-existence. Learn to respect the dignity of every human being, despite how feeble and inconsequential they may be. Even if they're not up to your class or status, always learn to condescend when necessary, it doesn't make you less of who or what you are. However, some people are very conversant with this golden rule and they've always practised it, yet they still get into conflict with people. This is why we shall consider other factors that will enable us to build and shapen our interpersonal relationship skill. Proper and mutual "UNDERSTANDING" of temperaments is very necessary for developing our interpersonal relationship skills. Understanding is the lubricant that lubricates every relationship and reduces friction. When you have a proper understanding of the temperament of your team members, colleagues, boss, relatives and anyone you relate with, you'll certainly know how to better manage and relate with them, and also tolerate their weaknesses and shortcomings. Temperament is the trait a person is born with. A person can be a Sanguine, who are very unserious and indisciplined. Or a Choleric who is very sarcastic and hard to please. Or probably a Melancholy, who's a perfectionist and hard to satisfy. Or even a Phlegmatic, who's too slow, inactive and always undecided. You must learn to manage all these categories of persons in other to have a good relationship with everyone. Read more about the four classes of temperament in "Why You Act The Way You Do" by Tim Lahaye. It will help you to have a better understanding of different traits of people and develop your interpersonal relationship skills. Another factor we want to consider is to avoid being too "CONFRONTATIONAL". Notwithstanding how good we want our relationship to be and the good effort we always make to make it better. There must certainly be a time when we must encounter some disagreements and misunderstandings, which if not properly or wisely handled, could degenerate into a soured relationship. There's no perfect relationship anywhere but the ability to properly manage our weaknesses and resolve our differences will make it near perfect. Avoid being too confrontational and impetuous.
Wednesday, 4 March 2015
Low or lack of sexual libido has been a major challenge confronting most men. And it consequently threatens their relationship with their partner. A lot of men have always been accused of sexual irresponsibility by their partner, because of their inability to take charge on bed and satisfy the woman's sexual urge. Frankly speaking, no matter how handsome and good looking you are, or how physically strong and tough you may look, or how rich and wealthy you are, and all the masculine characters and sexuality traits you possess, if you cannot assume your sexual responsibility and to a reasonable extent, satisfy her on bed when it is time, sorry! She'll never be pleased or happy with you, no matter what you do.This is one major factor that's responsible for infidelities in many relationships and marriages. If you cannot be in charge in your home as a man, particularly on bed, you certainly cannot get the maximum respect you deserve. However, if you're in this category, you don't need to panic anymore, because this topic is intended to address this challenge and help you to overcome low or lack of sexual libido, which is the main cause of your inability to perform your sexual role to your partner at home. First, lets understand what we mean by sexual libido. What is sexual libido? The word "libido" is always associated with sex. Hence, sexual libido can be described as sex-drive, desire, passion and appetite for sex when needed at the right time. Therefore, a moderate sexual libido is when there's an excitement of the sex organ and the drive for sex. It is the desire and drive that causes the excitement and erection. Without this sex-drive and desire, there will either be no erection or there will be partial erection, which is also known as "Weak Erection". Consequently, the person can be said to have a low sexual libido. Every man is naturally created to, without any inhibition get attracted to the opposite sex. And no man is born with low libido, infact every healthy man is expected to once in a while get sexually emotional and aroused, especially when close to a woman. But we unknowingly get ourselves challenged by this challenge as we go through life. Probably because of some unfavourable habits we picked up that has negatively impacted on us or some bad advice we ignorantly heeded to in the past. I believe some medical scientist and even herbal doctors must have given some advices, or prescribed some remedy for low or lack of sexual libido, and some herbal specialists have some libido boosting herbal products. Probably, you've sometime ago taken their products. Now the question i want to ask you is that, how far did it go? Or to what extent has those products helped you? Please post your comment at the of this post, to let me know. The truth is that majority of these products or medicines are only for temporary or short-term measures. They do not permanently cure low libido. Which invariably means that, every time you want to engage in sex with your partner, you must take the product to boost your libido. It isn't supposed to be like that. Sexual libido is a natural occurence that happens naturally anytime you want to copulate, you don't need to force it. If it doesn't happen naturally, then it is abnormal and you ought to seek medical help. Notwithstanding, those herbal products or remedies may suffice if the cause of the low libido is infection. Untreated or poorly treated infections such as, gonorrhea, syphilis, staphylococus etc, may cause low sexual libido, which those herbal or medical prescription is intended to treat, in other to boost your libido. Sometimes, excessively taking these libido boosting products might even further compound the problem, because it negates the natural principle of copulation. However, apart from age and infections, which tends to reduce our sexual libido or sex-drive, there are some habits you ignorantly indulge in, that are more likely to reduce your sexual libido faster than any other thing, especially as you get older. The first of these habit is "Masturbation". Excessive or frequent masturbation as a man weakens your sex organ, and reduces your drive for the real sex with your partner, and also causes weak or minimum erection. This is because when you masturbate, especially when there's friction, it affects the blood veins in your organ and also the muscles, which will eventually cause some rupture and weaken the cells that are necessary to cause full erection. The next habit is frequent watching of "Pornography". Frequent watching of porn videos and pictures can lead to a low libido. The more you watch pornography, the more it gradually kills your passion and desire for the real thing at the time you ought to engage in it with your partner. That special attraction that excites your sex cells and organs will no longer be there. The last factor that may cause low sexual libido is "Stress". Never indulge in sex when you're under stress. It kills your emotions.
Monday, 2 March 2015
A lot of people have always desired to become famous in the world. But fame does not happen abruptly, it comes with its own challenges and sacrifices. Fame can come in different ways but for two reasons. You can be famous for the wrong reasons or for the right reasons. Someone can be famous for being notorious, or you can become popular for being the next Stowaway. Fame can be achieved in diverse ways, depending on which area you want to channel your energy towards, and you're ready to make sacrifices. But in this context, i'm talking about being famous for the right reasons or doing the right thing. Whether it is the fifteen minutes of fame on social media that was predicted, or the long time fame, being famous requires you to be creative and do extraordinary things that will catch the attention of a good number of people. Now, how do you become famous in the world? Remember, i'm not talking about that fifteen minutes of fame which so many of us might later attain. For instance, if you've got a good number of followers on twitter and your tweet is being retweeted many times by your followers, that might just be your 15 minutes of fame on Twitter. Or if you've got a post that gets shared and liked by a lot of people that might also be your 15 minutes of fame on Facebook. But these are short term fame which some of us might achieve one day on social media. However, in this post, we are looking at the long time fame in what you've chosen to do in life. A lot of writers had written about becoming famous, and it will run a whole gamut of the human race if all writers were to write down their knowledge and ideas on how to achieve fame. A lot of writers has always told you not chase after fame, but you should rather be consistent in doing your passion and fame will follow after you. I can't agree less with their advice. Apparently, the first secret to becoming famous in life is to discover your passion. What is your passion in life? What do you know how to do well and you love doing? Discovering your passion and being consistent in putting it to work, is the secret to becoming famous. And until you discover your passion in life and make deliberate effort to consistently put it to action, you cannot achieve fame. There are a lot of famous people in the world today, who achieved fame in their different areas of endeavours. Some rose to the peak of their careers in singing, fashion, football, athletics, writing, blogging and in various areas that adds value to life. Fame starts from discovering your passion, creating a niche for yourself, being consistent and good at what you're doing. After discovering your passion, and choosing the niche you want to focus on, you must learn to always be consistent in doing ordinary things in an extra-ordinary way. The desire to become famous requires diligence and consistency in doing what you love doing, and know how to do it better than others. It takes time, hence it requires patience. It doesn't matter how long it may take, what matters is, being consistent and focused in your passion and chosen niche. Don't be discouraged by how long it may take you or begin to consider how long it took others to get there, it starts with just a step and the determination to get there. This is why you don't need to desire to become famous forget about it, just follow your passion and be consistent in putting it to action, and the fame will come. You can become a famous footballer, athletes, blogger, singer, writer, fashion celebrity, golfer, etc. Since your target is to hit the whole world, you must choose a niche that appeals to a good number of people or a niche that adds value to the life of others. Discover some challenges confronting the entire world, like the challenges of terrorism, climate change and global warming, leadership problems or any other challenge that's affecting humans, and be creative in coming up with a solution by blogging, writing or singing about them. To become famous in the world, you must do some great things that will add value to life and impact positively on the life of others. The teenage Pakistani girl, Malala Yousafzai is famous because of her advocacy for the right to education of the girl child in Pakistan. Her passion and course, had today made the education of the girl child to be taken more seriously in Pakistan and the World at large. What is your passion an motivation in life? You certainly need to discover and follow it, in other to become famous. Apart from discovering your passion and working hard towards achieving world fame, some people also become famous by dating, marrying or connecting to others who are already famous and renown in the world. Kate Middleton became famous for marrying Prince Williams. Hence, having a link or connection with people who are already famous can also make you famous. But that's a cheap way of attaining fame, which does not happen always. The best way is to discover your passion and use it to add value to life.